Today I Choose...

I know, I know, I know... It's been nearly a century since my last post. Here I am getting up, brushing off the dust and getting back at it.

Prior to writing this, I went back and re-read my first post. (I suggest you do the same...)


The coolest part of this whole "blogging" thing is reliving those past "mile markers" and getting to see it with a whole new perspective and with all the wisdom of having gotten to the present "mile marker". I was reading about searching for jobs and dreaming of relocating and guess what...

I made it to Florida!

Orlando, FL to be more exact. And I have been fortunate enough to land as near to my dream job as I could hope for.

I work here...

At Arnold Palmer Hospital for Children/Winne Palmer Hospital for Women and Babies as a Clinical Dietitian.

I am feeling very blessed and look forward to the further unraveling of my journey here as a new Floridian.
Through the transition to a new city, I have seem some interesting things. (Most of which you will hear about in time.) Sometimes, I had days where it was really easy to feel good about life. You know, the days where you are around friends that have your back, you feel confident in your purpose and you feel as though you could take the world head on? Smiling is pretty easy on these days. Well, fortunately, I have experienced many of those days, and while life here in Orlando really is going well, Mondays are inevitable. You also know these days - the one's where the alarm goes off in the middle of your R.E.M. cycle, you need that second (or third, or fourth...) cup of coffee, nothing seems to go just right and the day just won't end? THIS was my Monday. While I succeed sometimes more than others, I usually make a good effort at being optimistic and choosing to see the silver lining. (Maybe that statement is, in fact, a bit optimistic.... yikes!) It took me all-sticking-day, but I finally came around and realized, "Hey, enjoying this day is my choice!” A very simple realization, but one that I hope helps someone else as well. I am very thankful for all the blessings that have (even just recently) blossomed in my life, and I bet if you were to think about all of yours, those petty daily annoyances won’t seem so bad.

So here's to looking up, smiling and counting our blessings. Here's to choosing...

I Was Here

Happy New Year's! Lots of wonderful things have happened in the past year and I am giddy with excitement as I anticipate an even better 2011.

It is always intriguing to observe people at the turn of a new year. No matter what the previous year held, there is always a renewed sense of hope that this "new slate" brings. We come by this naturally I think – the first 18- 20+ years of our life we are engrossed in education which segments our lives into constant stepping stones that include change, growth and fresh starts. Once we decide our education is complete, we enter the working world where we start a job – and remain there indefinitely (in most cases, anyway!) We have been trained to look forward to and adapt to change. It could be argued we need it, and the new page that New Year's brings fills that void.

I have never been one to attract to trends. In fact just the opposite is true – just because something is overtly "trendy" I will probably stray away. I don't know what it is, but looking or being just like everybody I see around me doesn't seem appealing. For a while now, New Year's Resolutions have fallen into that category. I don't believe I have ever used this time to set goals, and if I have, I know for sure that I have never followed through long term on them.

This year I am putting my jaded view of popular trends behind me and I am setting a few goals. You may have heard of this before as this is definitely not original to me, but there is a theory of setting S.M.A.R.T. goals: Specific, measurable, attainable, reasonable and timely. You cannot keep yourself accountable if there are no parameters, and you set yourself up for failure if your goals are inappropriate.

My goals for 2011 (well, the ones I want to tell you about anyway…)

1. Force myself outside my comfort zone at least 1 time per day
   
2. Eliminate pointless spending of money
   
3. Try 3 new recipes a month
   
4. Be at the gym 4+ days a week
   

I am very excited for the opportunities that 2011 will bring – I pray that (you and) I will take hold of these opportunities and make the most of them. Lady Antebellum sings a song entitled "I Was Here." Here are some of the lyrics as they seem appropriate.

I wanna do something that matters, say something different

Something that sets the whole world on its ear

I wanna do something better with the time I've been given

I wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life

Leave nothing less than something that says "I was here"

 

And remember…

"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream." –C.S. Lewis

 

Make My Path Straight

I love Nashville at Christmas time. Actually, I love Nashville anytime, but the holiday season feels extra special. I am currently on a plane cruising somewhere between Nashville, TN and New Orleans, LA where I will grab another plane to take me back "home" to Dallas, TX. I had an incredible weekend catching up with amazing friends who are sending me back to Dallas feeling uplifted, renewed and rejuvenated. How thankful I am for them! It is fun to look back at the life's happenings and see how God places the perfect people within your life and uses them in ways that they (and I) are completely unaware of.

The half way mark to my Dietetic Internship is around the corner – unbelievable! Naturally I have been catching myself daydreaming about what comes next. I have been looking online at job postings and fantasizing about the endless job opportunities and the possibilities of relocation. Just as I was starting to get overwhelmed by the timing and lack of focus I have as far as where I see myself ending up, I encountered someone in the hospital who spoke very wise words to me. (Again, funny how and when God decides to pop up!) She reminded me that it has very little to do with doing something we feel called to "do", and so much more to do being WHO we are called to BE. This was impactful to me for a couple of reasons, but mainly it was a reminder that God is in control (which in and of itself served as much needed stress reliever) and my willingness to be used will lead me into the exact place I need to be.

Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Mrs. Glover, one of my favorite people from the Houston area, gave me a shadow box upon my graduation from high school. It's beautiful, which is no surprise to you if you know her and her creative ability to make ANYTHING! Well this shadow box sits on my kitchen counter to this day and I love looking back at it for encouragement. It quotes the verse Jeremiah 29:11-13

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Without fail, acknowledging that the Lord is in control is the first step, but it is hard to be led by someone you are out of touch with. I was discussing this weekend with a girlfriend my desire to improve my "staying-in-touch" skills. If it weren't for Facebook I would be in big time trouble! Even still, those special friends have a way, despite the distance, of knowing just when I need that pick me up. They know me and what makes me tick and what I need.

I think the same struggle I have with keeping up with friends 600+ miles away correlates to my struggle of "keeping in touch" with the daily works of the Lord in my life. To a much more expansive level, God knows what I need, and want, and love and etc etc. There are several things that relax me when life seems to be just too much: outdoors, music, exercise to name a few. When I really take the time to look around, the Lord has made all of these attempts to stay in touch with me. Walking outside, the trees, water and wind were all placed there as if he was saying, "Amber you need this, and I wanted to give this to you" and remind me of his majesty. It's easy to get caught up in life and neglect the little (but really NOT so little at all) tokens of God's love He places around us.

I pray your Holiday season is full of love, family and laughter – and that you recognize whatever great gifts the Lord decides to send you!

Hangin' out in the back seat

I am in this role as a Dietetic Intern, and not that this is a new realization, but I have been reminded over and over that I am in a field saturated with Type A, perfectionist, OCD women*. It's a bit overwhelming at times - everyone seems to have it totally together, a career plan firmly in tact and a clear vision as to where they are headed. Exhausting.

My plan all along has been to complete this internship, sit for my boards, become an RD, and then transition to get my masters in Nursing. I would be crazy amounts of marketable, be extremely effective in medical missions and be able to pass along my passion for nutrition through the validity of being a Nurse Practitioner. Seems like a error proof plan - right?

I am 8 weeks into this program (unbelievable!) and I am starting to question, well, EVERYTHING! And depending upon the day - no scratch that. Depending on the hour the direction I feel I should go changes. I love clinical. I hate clinical. I'm in the right field. I couldn't have picked a less appropriate field for me... (you see the stressed Type A personality coming out?? Yeah!)

When I'm able to sit down and think, it is clear to me that this is the very reason this internship exists and why we are forced to tread through it. It's challenging and stressful but it makes you value where you are.

I was talking to my dad not to long ago, and after I was through with my rant about going from having a foul proof plan to having no idea where on earth I was headed, he plainly reminded me that my lot has already been made secure. God has this map already planned out - all I have to do is watch for his hand and his guidance and He will lead me straight there. What a stress reliever! I am not asked to plan the route or even know the destination - just be willing to jump in the car!

Excerpts of Psalm 16
Keep me safe, O God,
for in you I take refuge.
I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord;
apart from you I have no good thing."
...
LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
you have made my lot secure.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance.
I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
I have set the LORD always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.
...
You have made known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.


Here is to enjoying the ride! :)


*Way over generalization. Not all RD's qualify. Please, no offense taken!

The last few weeks have been crammed with lots of excitement!

Of most importance, my (not so) little brother got engaged! Still so hard to believe! I'm excited about having a sister for the first time and inviting a wonderful young lady into the family! Congrats Richard and Callie!

My High School Alma mater (Westbury Christian School) put on an awesome event (of which my family was actively involved) - Charlie Ward's Evening of Excellence featuring Tony Dungy. It was an awesome afternoon! It was wonderful to see so many people I hadn't seen in so long, lots of celebrity guests, and most of all a huge success for the school!

This past weekend I was able to get a long weekend off from my Dietetic Internship (Residency) and went home and hung out in Galveston with the family! We had such a good time and it was so nice to get a breather! (Not that I could completely walk away from hospital work, but doing so in a hammock on the beach is just so so much more pleasant!)

Fall is on it's way in and this reprieve from a month of 100+ degree days straight is much welcomed! I am getting more and more acclimated to Dallas (and hospital) life, and I have several things to look forward to in the not too distant future (friends to visits and events to attend) - life just seems pretty good!

Through these times were life is good, it is often easy to get caught up in the fun and excitement and forget where these great blessings come from. Conversely, when times are rough and things are not coming easily, I am usually quick to question, blame and be angry with God for not keeping my path smooth.

For this reason, this week I pray that God keep my life continually balanced with both blessings and trials; trials so that I can be constantly reminded that I am in need of his help and strength, and blessings to be reminded of his power and love for me.

Days in Dallas

Well  I am three weeks into Dallas life - whew! There is lots going on and a lot of new things to get used to!

The internship I have started is going well! There are 10 of us interns, and everyone is great and we are going to have a blast getting through this program together! Our Directors are also wonderful will make this experience challenging but extremely rewarding. I have finished one rotation in the hospital and have just finished day 1 of my second. I'm learning lots - and getting used to some not so normal hours on occasion! In the next ten months, I will be stretched farther than I have ever been stretched before, and while the process might not always be "fun," I am confident that it will be so worth it!

The biggest change I have had to get used to is the whole living alone thing. I like it - for the most part! It has just been so long since I have spent so much time, well, alone! In college I always came home to roommates and was constantly surrounded by people! I am slowing getting acclimated to life here and gradually meeting more and more people - but as I said, it is in deed an adjustment!

Sunday was a rough day for me (you know...just one of THOSE days. Nothing went as planned and of course there was the wrong person in the wrong place saying the wrong thing), so what do I decide to do? Paint my apartment! Well paint one wall of my living room anyway. This picture does not do it justice, for I am NOT a photographer, but I'm pleased with how it came out!

Lately I have been really praying and looking for God's hand in my life. I may have spoken on this before, but it is an area of my life that is needing much help! I am much better at looking back and understanding what God was trying to accomplish through me or tell me or lead me to. As they say, hind sight is 20-20. It has been an adventure to really see how God is working through me and talking to me on a daily, immediate basis. Old news for most people, I'm just a little slow getting there!

At times of life like this, where I'm in an intense academic program and God is also aggressively working on my heart, I am left at a point where my learning curve is no longer a curve at all, but a straight shot up. As Dr. Earl Lavender would say, "Yesterday I was always stupid." I can now totally relate to this!

I have gone a while without posting! No excuse – just haven’t made the time!
Life has been going fast and furious as always! I have made the official move to my place in Dallas! I LOVE my apartment! I’m so excited about getting into a routine, getting life set up, exploring the city, meeting a bunch of new people and getting some last minute preparations done for my internship (which starts TOMORROW! Woah!)

I spoke in my last post about marriage from an outsiders view, and it led to some conversations, which inevitably led to conversations of having kids. When I get into discussions about this with people, the statement I have been known to reply with is “Well, I’m just not ready for life to be about someone else right now! I just can’t imagine it not being all about me yet!” That is about as honest as I can be, seemingly. I mean really, I am basing my decisions in life about what I want, need, desire and hope to obtain. Egocentric? I think so!


While I’m not sure that I apologize for this stance, it is causing me to think, again, about “my story.” If the page of my story that I am currently living had an illustration, who would be in it? Doing what? Who am I making the protagonist of my story?
I want to live in a way that makes Christ the main character and me the supporting role.
In Ephesians is says that the Holy Spirit has been set as a seal on my heart. This says to me that when I surrender to the work God desires to accomplish through my life, the Spirit is in complete control and therefore He is the main character. The driver of my plot.

I’ve heard the saying that God doesn’t want to be number one on your list followed by everything else – He wants to BE the list. He wants to be number one is my desires, goals, relationships, career, finances, hobbies, and the list goes on.
I am far from being at complete surrender, but what a beautiful place that seems to be. Kelly Minter wrote a Bible Study of Ruth intended for small groups. In her study she brings up the point that when we don’t feel willing to have God in our lives, we can simply tell God that we are willing to be made willing. And that is a great place to start. How awesome that God is so loving that we is willing to work with that!
God, I am willing to be made willing for you to BE my story.