Days in Dallas

Well  I am three weeks into Dallas life - whew! There is lots going on and a lot of new things to get used to!

The internship I have started is going well! There are 10 of us interns, and everyone is great and we are going to have a blast getting through this program together! Our Directors are also wonderful will make this experience challenging but extremely rewarding. I have finished one rotation in the hospital and have just finished day 1 of my second. I'm learning lots - and getting used to some not so normal hours on occasion! In the next ten months, I will be stretched farther than I have ever been stretched before, and while the process might not always be "fun," I am confident that it will be so worth it!

The biggest change I have had to get used to is the whole living alone thing. I like it - for the most part! It has just been so long since I have spent so much time, well, alone! In college I always came home to roommates and was constantly surrounded by people! I am slowing getting acclimated to life here and gradually meeting more and more people - but as I said, it is in deed an adjustment!

Sunday was a rough day for me (you know...just one of THOSE days. Nothing went as planned and of course there was the wrong person in the wrong place saying the wrong thing), so what do I decide to do? Paint my apartment! Well paint one wall of my living room anyway. This picture does not do it justice, for I am NOT a photographer, but I'm pleased with how it came out!

Lately I have been really praying and looking for God's hand in my life. I may have spoken on this before, but it is an area of my life that is needing much help! I am much better at looking back and understanding what God was trying to accomplish through me or tell me or lead me to. As they say, hind sight is 20-20. It has been an adventure to really see how God is working through me and talking to me on a daily, immediate basis. Old news for most people, I'm just a little slow getting there!

At times of life like this, where I'm in an intense academic program and God is also aggressively working on my heart, I am left at a point where my learning curve is no longer a curve at all, but a straight shot up. As Dr. Earl Lavender would say, "Yesterday I was always stupid." I can now totally relate to this!

I have gone a while without posting! No excuse – just haven’t made the time!
Life has been going fast and furious as always! I have made the official move to my place in Dallas! I LOVE my apartment! I’m so excited about getting into a routine, getting life set up, exploring the city, meeting a bunch of new people and getting some last minute preparations done for my internship (which starts TOMORROW! Woah!)

I spoke in my last post about marriage from an outsiders view, and it led to some conversations, which inevitably led to conversations of having kids. When I get into discussions about this with people, the statement I have been known to reply with is “Well, I’m just not ready for life to be about someone else right now! I just can’t imagine it not being all about me yet!” That is about as honest as I can be, seemingly. I mean really, I am basing my decisions in life about what I want, need, desire and hope to obtain. Egocentric? I think so!


While I’m not sure that I apologize for this stance, it is causing me to think, again, about “my story.” If the page of my story that I am currently living had an illustration, who would be in it? Doing what? Who am I making the protagonist of my story?
I want to live in a way that makes Christ the main character and me the supporting role.
In Ephesians is says that the Holy Spirit has been set as a seal on my heart. This says to me that when I surrender to the work God desires to accomplish through my life, the Spirit is in complete control and therefore He is the main character. The driver of my plot.

I’ve heard the saying that God doesn’t want to be number one on your list followed by everything else – He wants to BE the list. He wants to be number one is my desires, goals, relationships, career, finances, hobbies, and the list goes on.
I am far from being at complete surrender, but what a beautiful place that seems to be. Kelly Minter wrote a Bible Study of Ruth intended for small groups. In her study she brings up the point that when we don’t feel willing to have God in our lives, we can simply tell God that we are willing to be made willing. And that is a great place to start. How awesome that God is so loving that we is willing to work with that!
God, I am willing to be made willing for you to BE my story.