Thankful.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING FROM FLORIDA!!

Wait, really? How on earth is it November?? Time has absolutely FLOWN by. I truly feel like it has been weeks since I moved here. So many awesome things have happened and I have much to be thankful for.

Are you a planner? I am. Always have been, and I will likely always be. It comes with its perks, as anything else. And then God sends you down paths you can’t plan for and it rocks your world because heaven forbid you don’t expect the next step. (As I blogged about a couple posts back..) Well the Lord has been so very sovereign in His promises to me. It’s amazing to look back and see all the times I doubted and now be able to see where He was not saying “No” but rather “Not now”. (Or He did say “No” and thank goodness He did!) How fickle I can be!! This song was introduced to me recently and I can so very much relate to its lyrics…

Running in Circles – United Pursuit Band

I’m so forgetful, but you always remind me

You’re the only one who brings me peace

You’re the only one who brings me peace

So I come, Lord I come, I come, Lord I come

To tell you I love you

To tell you I need you

To tell you there’s no better place for me than in your arms

To tell you I’m sorry for running in circles

For placing my focus on the ways and not your face

You’re the only one who brings me peace

You’re the only one who brings me peace

It’s human nature, but I would assume that is something we could all relate to on some level. My prayer and efforts recently have been in strengthening my faith and “intune-ness” with the Lord to be able to hear Him speaking to me. I’m really good at sending requests, but not as adept at the whole listening portion. I want badly to hear Him. I feel quite ashamed to have been a “Christian” for as long as I have been and still be so far behind in this endeavor. Well I have been given some AWESOME advice and it’s really helping! So I thought I’d pass it along. Invite God to be a part of your life in every aspect – the big and the small things. How, you ask? GREAT question, because that was mine! :) When that lovely alarm goes off in the morning, before rolling out of bed and starting the day, open up a prayer…and leave it open! Carry it through your entire day. I find myself talking to him exponentially more, and thinking about myself less. Sometimes it’s big things – “God what is your purpose for me here?”. Sometimes it’s not about me – “Lord, be with my patient. I cannot even fathom this life they have been asked to live.” It’s thanksgiving, question, doubt, a plea, etc. I’m hoping that I can rely on him more and truly make Him my “lifeline”. Not that He is more present now than He was before, but I can see and feel him now! This is a baby step in a long way to go, but a “mile marker” in my journey nonetheless.

Back in Texas I was in a patient room along with a chaplain and the patient was asked by the chaplain if he would desire prayers. The response by the patient was “Have we really come to that?” I was (almost physically) taken back. Wow. That’s how I approach prayer sometimes – the last resort instead of Plan A. I hope to change that permanently. Who is your lifeline?

Wishing you all a HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Remember that the Lord is good! :)

Beauty That Comes from Pain

As a follow up to my last post, here is a recommended read. Enjoy!

Traveling Companions..

Last week I started out by "being honest". Well I'm going to top that and be a little a lot more honest. I'm struggling. Moving to a new city has been hundreds of times more difficult than I anticipated it to be. I have never longed to see a "familiar" face so strongly in my life. However, as has been reminded to me many times over here recently, nothing worth having comes easy. So whatever is coming next must really be something :)

I have been taught (and have always believed) that there is a constant battle going on for our souls. I've just never felt or seen it before as I do now. Welcome to the real world, right? Both the Lord and Satan have made their attempts very tangible to me lately. It's amazing how "believing" something versus seeing this actualize in your own life precipitates such stronger emotions.

Since moving to Orlando, I have stepped back into the role of "Church Shopping". Something I have done before, but doing so outside the so-called "Bible-Belt" is such a different experience. Tonight I went to a church that I have really enjoyed recently (really, the only one I've enjoyed so far...) and I'm nearly certain the minister was looking at my very life when he assembled his sermon. No, I'm not so self-absorbed to actually think that, but God really had some points to make to me. He sure got my attention and I was all ears. He was discussing community and the art of living in both grace AND truth.

I've always been surrounded by amazing community, and have therefore taken for granted what a blessing it is. I still have community, just not as physically close by as I've enjoyed having in the past. And I'm working on developing that community here, but like I said, it's been much more of a challenge than I gave it credit for.

There are people that we know that live very much in "truth". You know them - the people who would never dream of sugar coating the truth. They are going to shoot you straight between the eyes and not think twice about it. And then those people that live very much in "grace". The people that will do everything in their power to avoid conflict at any cost. The "bless their heart" saying folks.

John 1:14 tells us...
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

He mastered the art of Grace AND Truth.

If you were to draw a scale, at one end being all grace and the other end being all truth, where would you plot? It's a tricky act to balance. And to be the best community partner possible, we must be equipped to love in both capacities. To show grace and face the hard stuff square on - and even harder still, to have the wisdom to know when each of these acts are appropriate!

In my community, both that I have and hope to acquire, I want my "partners in crime" to be evenly balanced - so they will be able to shoot me straight when I need it, and cover me with grace when I need it. I am in need of this community now. I pray for it constantly, and I know that this is part of the "something awesome" that is just around the corner.

God, thank you for your grace and your truth. I recognize that the hardship and tears of the present are simply a means to an amazing end, and that you will never put me into a position you will not see me through. I pray you give me the strength to lean on you through these wars, and know that you are bigger and stronger and wiser than even the largest of my battles. God, thank you for knowing my most intimate thoughts and needs and downfalls, and loving me still. Keep reminding me that in order to gain community, I must be community. Thank you for the excellent example of life in grace and truth, and help me to improve on where I "plot" all the time. Lord, I want to know you more and to shine a brighter light. I choose to stop fighting and to surrender to your plan. Help me to see and hear you for the next right step."

Dream Big

Howdy ya'll! (Can you tell I miss Texas a little right now?!?)

Can I be truly honest for a minute? I'm deathly afraid of complacency. Of boredom. Of getting into a rut and not even knowing it, or for that matter, how to get out of it. I suppose this comes at a natural time in my life while I’m starting a career and indefinite job. I suppose it also explains my constant desire - no - constant need for change and action and adventure. While I think there is healthy component to this for sure, I also think my desire for newness can lead me down paths I don't really want to go. Fruitful desires require intention and pursuit and discipline.

Dreams, BIG dreams, are essential and I'm absolutely a proponent. But I think a lot of times we get so caught up in "today" that we miss the big picture or the bigger path that is leading up to our "tomorrow". You know, miss the forest for the trees idea? Are we living and pursuing today in the right manner to produce the tomorrow we envision?

So in response to this fear/desire for an adventure I decided to somehow create a daily reminder of what I desired my "tomorrow" to look like so I could make decisions and learn lessons from today to help me get there. (We are feeble creatures - we need big, obvious reminders sometimes!)

On another blog I follow (Check it out, she's awesome! http://jonesdesigncompany.com/ ) I saw an idea for a burlap covered bulletin board. I thought - THAT'S IT. I'm making a dream board. So first I did as Emily instructed and stapled the woven strips of burlap onto the cork board and it looked like this...

And then I personalized it, adding things that would remind me of what is important to me (I forget all too often), as well as motivation and symbols of my aspirations. So far it looks like this...

 

Still VERY much a work in progress, but so far on there I have...

Dream: Because, well, isn't that the whole point??

Picture of my Mom and Dad: An inspiration in so many ways, but especially in regards to family and marriage. I want a marriage as committed as theirs.

Picture of two orphans from Honduras: I have a passion for traveling and serving, and hope that I never lose sight of my aspirations to work with medical missions.

Flower: A) because it's fun but B) because I want to always make the conscious decision to see the beauty in life. There's a lot of bad out there. But there is a lot of good too; sometimes you just have to look a little harder to find it.

Metal Cross: Because that is central to who I am, why I'm here, where I come from and who I want to be.
Like I said, still MUCH to be added - this is only the beginning.

Dr. Seuss always did say it best, didn't he?
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
You are the guy who'll decide where to go.
-Dr. Seuss
Tonight, my prayer is that I can always keep the important things with in sight, and never run out of dreams to add to my "Board".


*** Sorry for the poor quality of pictures. Best an old, dying cell phone could do!

Plan "B"...

Happy Holiday Weekend! Hoping that everyone is enjoying their time off. I don’t get the long weekend unfortunately, but this weekend was a much welcomed break nonetheless. My apartment is starting to feel a little more like "home"...


However I am still very much in transition, one could say, living in a new city, and I’m doing all the necessary purchases of becoming a Floridian. Most notably is how much time (not to mention money!) I have spent insuring myself – renters insurance, car insurance, cell phone insurance, professional insurance, medical insurance, optical insurance, dental insurance, life insurance, 401K…the list goes on. It’s amazing how much money we put into peace of mind. I would be terrified to put a calculator to it... Peace of mind might then be out the window.


In a book I’m reading right now, they used a nutrition analogy (which will always have my ears perk up a tad) on the “insurance” of vitamins and oral supplements. As if taking these pills insure our health and therefore excuse the lack of an appropriate diet.

What other aspects of life do we find back up plans for to help us feel a false sense of “safety”?

Not too long ago before moving from Dallas, I was having a conversation with a friend discussing my (at the time not so firm) plans of moving to Florida, not knowing exactly where I was going to live, moving in days before orientation at my new position at the hospital, etc. Other individuals commented on how “brave” (or if they were to truthfully translate - crazy) I was to move somewhere where I knew not a soul. Looking back it now from their perspective, they were probably right. At the time, though, I was so excited about the upcoming opportunities that I was blinded to all the potential mishaps. That same friend made a comment to me that left me dumbfounded and still continues to resonate with me, but she said “Amber, you don’t stress. That is a gift.” I say that not at all to brag or boast, because in all honesty I don’t believe that to be in the least bit true. I find myself concerned and worried about unknowns all too often.

What was my “insurance plan” then? I think it speaks so strongly to the evidence of Christ. I was so completely self-absorbed in my own world to notice it, but the Holy Spirit decided that He didn’t need my cooperation to work through me and for me and (hopefully) for my friend.

What are your inconspicuous insurance plans? Your good deed for the day? Church check list? I hope that I am able to put aside this egocentric mindset and allow my relationship with Him to consciusly be my back up. No place of peace greater than there. Said only because I’ve been there before, not because I am there currently. I am a work in progress! Thank God that He doesn’t need my collaboration to continue to work on me!

Today I Choose...

I know, I know, I know... It's been nearly a century since my last post. Here I am getting up, brushing off the dust and getting back at it.

Prior to writing this, I went back and re-read my first post. (I suggest you do the same...)


The coolest part of this whole "blogging" thing is reliving those past "mile markers" and getting to see it with a whole new perspective and with all the wisdom of having gotten to the present "mile marker". I was reading about searching for jobs and dreaming of relocating and guess what...

I made it to Florida!

Orlando, FL to be more exact. And I have been fortunate enough to land as near to my dream job as I could hope for.

I work here...

At Arnold Palmer Hospital for Children/Winne Palmer Hospital for Women and Babies as a Clinical Dietitian.

I am feeling very blessed and look forward to the further unraveling of my journey here as a new Floridian.
Through the transition to a new city, I have seem some interesting things. (Most of which you will hear about in time.) Sometimes, I had days where it was really easy to feel good about life. You know, the days where you are around friends that have your back, you feel confident in your purpose and you feel as though you could take the world head on? Smiling is pretty easy on these days. Well, fortunately, I have experienced many of those days, and while life here in Orlando really is going well, Mondays are inevitable. You also know these days - the one's where the alarm goes off in the middle of your R.E.M. cycle, you need that second (or third, or fourth...) cup of coffee, nothing seems to go just right and the day just won't end? THIS was my Monday. While I succeed sometimes more than others, I usually make a good effort at being optimistic and choosing to see the silver lining. (Maybe that statement is, in fact, a bit optimistic.... yikes!) It took me all-sticking-day, but I finally came around and realized, "Hey, enjoying this day is my choice!” A very simple realization, but one that I hope helps someone else as well. I am very thankful for all the blessings that have (even just recently) blossomed in my life, and I bet if you were to think about all of yours, those petty daily annoyances won’t seem so bad.

So here's to looking up, smiling and counting our blessings. Here's to choosing...

I Was Here

Happy New Year's! Lots of wonderful things have happened in the past year and I am giddy with excitement as I anticipate an even better 2011.

It is always intriguing to observe people at the turn of a new year. No matter what the previous year held, there is always a renewed sense of hope that this "new slate" brings. We come by this naturally I think – the first 18- 20+ years of our life we are engrossed in education which segments our lives into constant stepping stones that include change, growth and fresh starts. Once we decide our education is complete, we enter the working world where we start a job – and remain there indefinitely (in most cases, anyway!) We have been trained to look forward to and adapt to change. It could be argued we need it, and the new page that New Year's brings fills that void.

I have never been one to attract to trends. In fact just the opposite is true – just because something is overtly "trendy" I will probably stray away. I don't know what it is, but looking or being just like everybody I see around me doesn't seem appealing. For a while now, New Year's Resolutions have fallen into that category. I don't believe I have ever used this time to set goals, and if I have, I know for sure that I have never followed through long term on them.

This year I am putting my jaded view of popular trends behind me and I am setting a few goals. You may have heard of this before as this is definitely not original to me, but there is a theory of setting S.M.A.R.T. goals: Specific, measurable, attainable, reasonable and timely. You cannot keep yourself accountable if there are no parameters, and you set yourself up for failure if your goals are inappropriate.

My goals for 2011 (well, the ones I want to tell you about anyway…)

1. Force myself outside my comfort zone at least 1 time per day
   
2. Eliminate pointless spending of money
   
3. Try 3 new recipes a month
   
4. Be at the gym 4+ days a week
   

I am very excited for the opportunities that 2011 will bring – I pray that (you and) I will take hold of these opportunities and make the most of them. Lady Antebellum sings a song entitled "I Was Here." Here are some of the lyrics as they seem appropriate.

I wanna do something that matters, say something different

Something that sets the whole world on its ear

I wanna do something better with the time I've been given

I wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life

Leave nothing less than something that says "I was here"

 

And remember…

"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream." –C.S. Lewis