Monday, September 26, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Traveling Companions..
Last week I started out by "being honest". Well I'm going to top that and be a little a lot more honest. I'm struggling. Moving to a new city has been hundreds of times more difficult than I anticipated it to be. I have never longed to see a "familiar" face so strongly in my life. However, as has been reminded to me many times over here recently, nothing worth having comes easy. So whatever is coming next must really be something :)
I have been taught (and have always believed) that there is a constant battle going on for our souls. I've just never felt or seen it before as I do now. Welcome to the real world, right? Both the Lord and Satan have made their attempts very tangible to me lately. It's amazing how "believing" something versus seeing this actualize in your own life precipitates such stronger emotions.
Since moving to Orlando, I have stepped back into the role of "Church Shopping". Something I have done before, but doing so outside the so-called "Bible-Belt" is such a different experience. Tonight I went to a church that I have really enjoyed recently (really, the only one I've enjoyed so far...) and I'm nearly certain the minister was looking at my very life when he assembled his sermon. No, I'm not so self-absorbed to actually think that, but God really had some points to make to me. He sure got my attention and I was all ears. He was discussing community and the art of living in both grace AND truth.
I've always been surrounded by amazing community, and have therefore taken for granted what a blessing it is. I still have community, just not as physically close by as I've enjoyed having in the past. And I'm working on developing that community here, but like I said, it's been much more of a challenge than I gave it credit for.
There are people that we know that live very much in "truth". You know them - the people who would never dream of sugar coating the truth. They are going to shoot you straight between the eyes and not think twice about it. And then those people that live very much in "grace". The people that will do everything in their power to avoid conflict at any cost. The "bless their heart" saying folks.
John 1:14 tells us...
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.
He mastered the art of Grace AND Truth.
If you were to draw a scale, at one end being all grace and the other end being all truth, where would you plot? It's a tricky act to balance. And to be the best community partner possible, we must be equipped to love in both capacities. To show grace and face the hard stuff square on - and even harder still, to have the wisdom to know when each of these acts are appropriate!
In my community, both that I have and hope to acquire, I want my "partners in crime" to be evenly balanced - so they will be able to shoot me straight when I need it, and cover me with grace when I need it. I am in need of this community now. I pray for it constantly, and I know that this is part of the "something awesome" that is just around the corner.
God, thank you for your grace and your truth. I recognize that the hardship and tears of the present are simply a means to an amazing end, and that you will never put me into a position you will not see me through. I pray you give me the strength to lean on you through these wars, and know that you are bigger and stronger and wiser than even the largest of my battles. God, thank you for knowing my most intimate thoughts and needs and downfalls, and loving me still. Keep reminding me that in order to gain community, I must be community. Thank you for the excellent example of life in grace and truth, and help me to improve on where I "plot" all the time. Lord, I want to know you more and to shine a brighter light. I choose to stop fighting and to surrender to your plan. Help me to see and hear you for the next right step."
I have been taught (and have always believed) that there is a constant battle going on for our souls. I've just never felt or seen it before as I do now. Welcome to the real world, right? Both the Lord and Satan have made their attempts very tangible to me lately. It's amazing how "believing" something versus seeing this actualize in your own life precipitates such stronger emotions.
Since moving to Orlando, I have stepped back into the role of "Church Shopping". Something I have done before, but doing so outside the so-called "Bible-Belt" is such a different experience. Tonight I went to a church that I have really enjoyed recently (really, the only one I've enjoyed so far...) and I'm nearly certain the minister was looking at my very life when he assembled his sermon. No, I'm not so self-absorbed to actually think that, but God really had some points to make to me. He sure got my attention and I was all ears. He was discussing community and the art of living in both grace AND truth.
I've always been surrounded by amazing community, and have therefore taken for granted what a blessing it is. I still have community, just not as physically close by as I've enjoyed having in the past. And I'm working on developing that community here, but like I said, it's been much more of a challenge than I gave it credit for.
There are people that we know that live very much in "truth". You know them - the people who would never dream of sugar coating the truth. They are going to shoot you straight between the eyes and not think twice about it. And then those people that live very much in "grace". The people that will do everything in their power to avoid conflict at any cost. The "bless their heart" saying folks.
John 1:14 tells us...
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.
He mastered the art of Grace AND Truth.
If you were to draw a scale, at one end being all grace and the other end being all truth, where would you plot? It's a tricky act to balance. And to be the best community partner possible, we must be equipped to love in both capacities. To show grace and face the hard stuff square on - and even harder still, to have the wisdom to know when each of these acts are appropriate!
In my community, both that I have and hope to acquire, I want my "partners in crime" to be evenly balanced - so they will be able to shoot me straight when I need it, and cover me with grace when I need it. I am in need of this community now. I pray for it constantly, and I know that this is part of the "something awesome" that is just around the corner.
God, thank you for your grace and your truth. I recognize that the hardship and tears of the present are simply a means to an amazing end, and that you will never put me into a position you will not see me through. I pray you give me the strength to lean on you through these wars, and know that you are bigger and stronger and wiser than even the largest of my battles. God, thank you for knowing my most intimate thoughts and needs and downfalls, and loving me still. Keep reminding me that in order to gain community, I must be community. Thank you for the excellent example of life in grace and truth, and help me to improve on where I "plot" all the time. Lord, I want to know you more and to shine a brighter light. I choose to stop fighting and to surrender to your plan. Help me to see and hear you for the next right step."
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Dream Big
Howdy ya'll! (Can you tell I miss Texas a little right now?!?)
Can I be truly honest for a minute? I'm deathly afraid of complacency. Of boredom. Of getting into a rut and not even knowing it, or for that matter, how to get out of it. I suppose this comes at a natural time in my life while I’m starting a career and indefinite job. I suppose it also explains my constant desire - no - constant need for change and action and adventure. While I think there is healthy component to this for sure, I also think my desire for newness can lead me down paths I don't really want to go. Fruitful desires require intention and pursuit and discipline.
Dreams, BIG dreams, are essential and I'm absolutely a proponent. But I think a lot of times we get so caught up in "today" that we miss the big picture or the bigger path that is leading up to our "tomorrow". You know, miss the forest for the trees idea? Are we living and pursuing today in the right manner to produce the tomorrow we envision?
So in response to this fear/desire for an adventure I decided to somehow create a daily reminder of what I desired my "tomorrow" to look like so I could make decisions and learn lessons from today to help me get there. (We are feeble creatures - we need big, obvious reminders sometimes!)
On another blog I follow (Check it out, she's awesome! http://jonesdesigncompany.com/ ) I saw an idea for a burlap covered bulletin board. I thought - THAT'S IT. I'm making a dream board. So first I did as Emily instructed and stapled the woven strips of burlap onto the cork board and it looked like this...
And then I personalized it, adding things that would remind me of what is important to me (I forget all too often), as well as motivation and symbols of my aspirations. So far it looks like this...
Still VERY much a work in progress, but so far on there I have...
Dream: Because, well, isn't that the whole point??
Picture of my Mom and Dad: An inspiration in so many ways, but especially in regards to family and marriage. I want a marriage as committed as theirs.
Picture of two orphans from Honduras: I have a passion for traveling and serving, and hope that I never lose sight of my aspirations to work with medical missions.
Flower: A) because it's fun but B) because I want to always make the conscious decision to see the beauty in life. There's a lot of bad out there. But there is a lot of good too; sometimes you just have to look a little harder to find it.
Metal Cross: Because that is central to who I am, why I'm here, where I come from and who I want to be.
Like I said, still MUCH to be added - this is only the beginning.
Dr. Seuss always did say it best, didn't he?
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
You are the guy who'll decide where to go.
-Dr. Seuss
Tonight, my prayer is that I can always keep the important things with in sight, and never run out of dreams to add to my "Board".
*** Sorry for the poor quality of pictures. Best an old, dying cell phone could do!
Can I be truly honest for a minute? I'm deathly afraid of complacency. Of boredom. Of getting into a rut and not even knowing it, or for that matter, how to get out of it. I suppose this comes at a natural time in my life while I’m starting a career and indefinite job. I suppose it also explains my constant desire - no - constant need for change and action and adventure. While I think there is healthy component to this for sure, I also think my desire for newness can lead me down paths I don't really want to go. Fruitful desires require intention and pursuit and discipline.
Dreams, BIG dreams, are essential and I'm absolutely a proponent. But I think a lot of times we get so caught up in "today" that we miss the big picture or the bigger path that is leading up to our "tomorrow". You know, miss the forest for the trees idea? Are we living and pursuing today in the right manner to produce the tomorrow we envision?
So in response to this fear/desire for an adventure I decided to somehow create a daily reminder of what I desired my "tomorrow" to look like so I could make decisions and learn lessons from today to help me get there. (We are feeble creatures - we need big, obvious reminders sometimes!)
On another blog I follow (Check it out, she's awesome! http://jonesdesigncompany.com/ ) I saw an idea for a burlap covered bulletin board. I thought - THAT'S IT. I'm making a dream board. So first I did as Emily instructed and stapled the woven strips of burlap onto the cork board and it looked like this...
And then I personalized it, adding things that would remind me of what is important to me (I forget all too often), as well as motivation and symbols of my aspirations. So far it looks like this...
Dream: Because, well, isn't that the whole point??
Picture of my Mom and Dad: An inspiration in so many ways, but especially in regards to family and marriage. I want a marriage as committed as theirs.
Picture of two orphans from Honduras: I have a passion for traveling and serving, and hope that I never lose sight of my aspirations to work with medical missions.
Flower: A) because it's fun but B) because I want to always make the conscious decision to see the beauty in life. There's a lot of bad out there. But there is a lot of good too; sometimes you just have to look a little harder to find it.
Metal Cross: Because that is central to who I am, why I'm here, where I come from and who I want to be.
Like I said, still MUCH to be added - this is only the beginning.
Dr. Seuss always did say it best, didn't he?
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
You are the guy who'll decide where to go.
-Dr. Seuss
Tonight, my prayer is that I can always keep the important things with in sight, and never run out of dreams to add to my "Board".
*** Sorry for the poor quality of pictures. Best an old, dying cell phone could do!
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Plan "B"...
Happy Holiday Weekend! Hoping that everyone is enjoying their time off. I don’t get the long weekend unfortunately, but this weekend was a much welcomed break nonetheless. My apartment is starting to feel a little more like "home"...
However I am still very much in transition, one could say, living in a new city, and I’m doing all the necessary purchases of becoming a Floridian. Most notably is how much time (not to mention money!) I have spent insuring myself – renters insurance, car insurance, cell phone insurance, professional insurance, medical insurance, optical insurance, dental insurance, life insurance, 401K…the list goes on. It’s amazing how much money we put into peace of mind. I would be terrified to put a calculator to it... Peace of mind might then be out the window.
In a book I’m reading right now, they used a nutrition analogy (which will always have my ears perk up a tad) on the “insurance” of vitamins and oral supplements. As if taking these pills insure our health and therefore excuse the lack of an appropriate diet.
What other aspects of life do we find back up plans for to help us feel a false sense of “safety”?
Not too long ago before moving from Dallas, I was having a conversation with a friend discussing my (at the time not so firm) plans of moving to Florida, not knowing exactly where I was going to live, moving in days before orientation at my new position at the hospital, etc. Other individuals commented on how “brave” (or if they were to truthfully translate - crazy) I was to move somewhere where I knew not a soul. Looking back it now from their perspective, they were probably right. At the time, though, I was so excited about the upcoming opportunities that I was blinded to all the potential mishaps. That same friend made a comment to me that left me dumbfounded and still continues to resonate with me, but she said “Amber, you don’t stress. That is a gift.” I say that not at all to brag or boast, because in all honesty I don’t believe that to be in the least bit true. I find myself concerned and worried about unknowns all too often.
What was my “insurance plan” then? I think it speaks so strongly to the evidence of Christ. I was so completely self-absorbed in my own world to notice it, but the Holy Spirit decided that He didn’t need my cooperation to work through me and for me and (hopefully) for my friend.
What are your inconspicuous insurance plans? Your good deed for the day? Church check list? I hope that I am able to put aside this egocentric mindset and allow my relationship with Him to consciusly be my back up. No place of peace greater than there. Said only because I’ve been there before, not because I am there currently. I am a work in progress! Thank God that He doesn’t need my collaboration to continue to work on me!
However I am still very much in transition, one could say, living in a new city, and I’m doing all the necessary purchases of becoming a Floridian. Most notably is how much time (not to mention money!) I have spent insuring myself – renters insurance, car insurance, cell phone insurance, professional insurance, medical insurance, optical insurance, dental insurance, life insurance, 401K…the list goes on. It’s amazing how much money we put into peace of mind. I would be terrified to put a calculator to it... Peace of mind might then be out the window.
In a book I’m reading right now, they used a nutrition analogy (which will always have my ears perk up a tad) on the “insurance” of vitamins and oral supplements. As if taking these pills insure our health and therefore excuse the lack of an appropriate diet.
What other aspects of life do we find back up plans for to help us feel a false sense of “safety”?
Not too long ago before moving from Dallas, I was having a conversation with a friend discussing my (at the time not so firm) plans of moving to Florida, not knowing exactly where I was going to live, moving in days before orientation at my new position at the hospital, etc. Other individuals commented on how “brave” (or if they were to truthfully translate - crazy) I was to move somewhere where I knew not a soul. Looking back it now from their perspective, they were probably right. At the time, though, I was so excited about the upcoming opportunities that I was blinded to all the potential mishaps. That same friend made a comment to me that left me dumbfounded and still continues to resonate with me, but she said “Amber, you don’t stress. That is a gift.” I say that not at all to brag or boast, because in all honesty I don’t believe that to be in the least bit true. I find myself concerned and worried about unknowns all too often.
What was my “insurance plan” then? I think it speaks so strongly to the evidence of Christ. I was so completely self-absorbed in my own world to notice it, but the Holy Spirit decided that He didn’t need my cooperation to work through me and for me and (hopefully) for my friend.
What are your inconspicuous insurance plans? Your good deed for the day? Church check list? I hope that I am able to put aside this egocentric mindset and allow my relationship with Him to consciusly be my back up. No place of peace greater than there. Said only because I’ve been there before, not because I am there currently. I am a work in progress! Thank God that He doesn’t need my collaboration to continue to work on me!
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