Make My Path Straight

I love Nashville at Christmas time. Actually, I love Nashville anytime, but the holiday season feels extra special. I am currently on a plane cruising somewhere between Nashville, TN and New Orleans, LA where I will grab another plane to take me back "home" to Dallas, TX. I had an incredible weekend catching up with amazing friends who are sending me back to Dallas feeling uplifted, renewed and rejuvenated. How thankful I am for them! It is fun to look back at the life's happenings and see how God places the perfect people within your life and uses them in ways that they (and I) are completely unaware of.

The half way mark to my Dietetic Internship is around the corner – unbelievable! Naturally I have been catching myself daydreaming about what comes next. I have been looking online at job postings and fantasizing about the endless job opportunities and the possibilities of relocation. Just as I was starting to get overwhelmed by the timing and lack of focus I have as far as where I see myself ending up, I encountered someone in the hospital who spoke very wise words to me. (Again, funny how and when God decides to pop up!) She reminded me that it has very little to do with doing something we feel called to "do", and so much more to do being WHO we are called to BE. This was impactful to me for a couple of reasons, but mainly it was a reminder that God is in control (which in and of itself served as much needed stress reliever) and my willingness to be used will lead me into the exact place I need to be.

Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Mrs. Glover, one of my favorite people from the Houston area, gave me a shadow box upon my graduation from high school. It's beautiful, which is no surprise to you if you know her and her creative ability to make ANYTHING! Well this shadow box sits on my kitchen counter to this day and I love looking back at it for encouragement. It quotes the verse Jeremiah 29:11-13

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Without fail, acknowledging that the Lord is in control is the first step, but it is hard to be led by someone you are out of touch with. I was discussing this weekend with a girlfriend my desire to improve my "staying-in-touch" skills. If it weren't for Facebook I would be in big time trouble! Even still, those special friends have a way, despite the distance, of knowing just when I need that pick me up. They know me and what makes me tick and what I need.

I think the same struggle I have with keeping up with friends 600+ miles away correlates to my struggle of "keeping in touch" with the daily works of the Lord in my life. To a much more expansive level, God knows what I need, and want, and love and etc etc. There are several things that relax me when life seems to be just too much: outdoors, music, exercise to name a few. When I really take the time to look around, the Lord has made all of these attempts to stay in touch with me. Walking outside, the trees, water and wind were all placed there as if he was saying, "Amber you need this, and I wanted to give this to you" and remind me of his majesty. It's easy to get caught up in life and neglect the little (but really NOT so little at all) tokens of God's love He places around us.

I pray your Holiday season is full of love, family and laughter – and that you recognize whatever great gifts the Lord decides to send you!

Hangin' out in the back seat

I am in this role as a Dietetic Intern, and not that this is a new realization, but I have been reminded over and over that I am in a field saturated with Type A, perfectionist, OCD women*. It's a bit overwhelming at times - everyone seems to have it totally together, a career plan firmly in tact and a clear vision as to where they are headed. Exhausting.

My plan all along has been to complete this internship, sit for my boards, become an RD, and then transition to get my masters in Nursing. I would be crazy amounts of marketable, be extremely effective in medical missions and be able to pass along my passion for nutrition through the validity of being a Nurse Practitioner. Seems like a error proof plan - right?

I am 8 weeks into this program (unbelievable!) and I am starting to question, well, EVERYTHING! And depending upon the day - no scratch that. Depending on the hour the direction I feel I should go changes. I love clinical. I hate clinical. I'm in the right field. I couldn't have picked a less appropriate field for me... (you see the stressed Type A personality coming out?? Yeah!)

When I'm able to sit down and think, it is clear to me that this is the very reason this internship exists and why we are forced to tread through it. It's challenging and stressful but it makes you value where you are.

I was talking to my dad not to long ago, and after I was through with my rant about going from having a foul proof plan to having no idea where on earth I was headed, he plainly reminded me that my lot has already been made secure. God has this map already planned out - all I have to do is watch for his hand and his guidance and He will lead me straight there. What a stress reliever! I am not asked to plan the route or even know the destination - just be willing to jump in the car!

Excerpts of Psalm 16
Keep me safe, O God,
for in you I take refuge.
I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord;
apart from you I have no good thing."
...
LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
you have made my lot secure.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance.
I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
I have set the LORD always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.
...
You have made known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.


Here is to enjoying the ride! :)


*Way over generalization. Not all RD's qualify. Please, no offense taken!

The last few weeks have been crammed with lots of excitement!

Of most importance, my (not so) little brother got engaged! Still so hard to believe! I'm excited about having a sister for the first time and inviting a wonderful young lady into the family! Congrats Richard and Callie!

My High School Alma mater (Westbury Christian School) put on an awesome event (of which my family was actively involved) - Charlie Ward's Evening of Excellence featuring Tony Dungy. It was an awesome afternoon! It was wonderful to see so many people I hadn't seen in so long, lots of celebrity guests, and most of all a huge success for the school!

This past weekend I was able to get a long weekend off from my Dietetic Internship (Residency) and went home and hung out in Galveston with the family! We had such a good time and it was so nice to get a breather! (Not that I could completely walk away from hospital work, but doing so in a hammock on the beach is just so so much more pleasant!)

Fall is on it's way in and this reprieve from a month of 100+ degree days straight is much welcomed! I am getting more and more acclimated to Dallas (and hospital) life, and I have several things to look forward to in the not too distant future (friends to visits and events to attend) - life just seems pretty good!

Through these times were life is good, it is often easy to get caught up in the fun and excitement and forget where these great blessings come from. Conversely, when times are rough and things are not coming easily, I am usually quick to question, blame and be angry with God for not keeping my path smooth.

For this reason, this week I pray that God keep my life continually balanced with both blessings and trials; trials so that I can be constantly reminded that I am in need of his help and strength, and blessings to be reminded of his power and love for me.

Days in Dallas

Well  I am three weeks into Dallas life - whew! There is lots going on and a lot of new things to get used to!

The internship I have started is going well! There are 10 of us interns, and everyone is great and we are going to have a blast getting through this program together! Our Directors are also wonderful will make this experience challenging but extremely rewarding. I have finished one rotation in the hospital and have just finished day 1 of my second. I'm learning lots - and getting used to some not so normal hours on occasion! In the next ten months, I will be stretched farther than I have ever been stretched before, and while the process might not always be "fun," I am confident that it will be so worth it!

The biggest change I have had to get used to is the whole living alone thing. I like it - for the most part! It has just been so long since I have spent so much time, well, alone! In college I always came home to roommates and was constantly surrounded by people! I am slowing getting acclimated to life here and gradually meeting more and more people - but as I said, it is in deed an adjustment!

Sunday was a rough day for me (you know...just one of THOSE days. Nothing went as planned and of course there was the wrong person in the wrong place saying the wrong thing), so what do I decide to do? Paint my apartment! Well paint one wall of my living room anyway. This picture does not do it justice, for I am NOT a photographer, but I'm pleased with how it came out!

Lately I have been really praying and looking for God's hand in my life. I may have spoken on this before, but it is an area of my life that is needing much help! I am much better at looking back and understanding what God was trying to accomplish through me or tell me or lead me to. As they say, hind sight is 20-20. It has been an adventure to really see how God is working through me and talking to me on a daily, immediate basis. Old news for most people, I'm just a little slow getting there!

At times of life like this, where I'm in an intense academic program and God is also aggressively working on my heart, I am left at a point where my learning curve is no longer a curve at all, but a straight shot up. As Dr. Earl Lavender would say, "Yesterday I was always stupid." I can now totally relate to this!

I have gone a while without posting! No excuse – just haven’t made the time!
Life has been going fast and furious as always! I have made the official move to my place in Dallas! I LOVE my apartment! I’m so excited about getting into a routine, getting life set up, exploring the city, meeting a bunch of new people and getting some last minute preparations done for my internship (which starts TOMORROW! Woah!)

I spoke in my last post about marriage from an outsiders view, and it led to some conversations, which inevitably led to conversations of having kids. When I get into discussions about this with people, the statement I have been known to reply with is “Well, I’m just not ready for life to be about someone else right now! I just can’t imagine it not being all about me yet!” That is about as honest as I can be, seemingly. I mean really, I am basing my decisions in life about what I want, need, desire and hope to obtain. Egocentric? I think so!


While I’m not sure that I apologize for this stance, it is causing me to think, again, about “my story.” If the page of my story that I am currently living had an illustration, who would be in it? Doing what? Who am I making the protagonist of my story?
I want to live in a way that makes Christ the main character and me the supporting role.
In Ephesians is says that the Holy Spirit has been set as a seal on my heart. This says to me that when I surrender to the work God desires to accomplish through my life, the Spirit is in complete control and therefore He is the main character. The driver of my plot.

I’ve heard the saying that God doesn’t want to be number one on your list followed by everything else – He wants to BE the list. He wants to be number one is my desires, goals, relationships, career, finances, hobbies, and the list goes on.
I am far from being at complete surrender, but what a beautiful place that seems to be. Kelly Minter wrote a Bible Study of Ruth intended for small groups. In her study she brings up the point that when we don’t feel willing to have God in our lives, we can simply tell God that we are willing to be made willing. And that is a great place to start. How awesome that God is so loving that we is willing to work with that!
God, I am willing to be made willing for you to BE my story.

Buddy System

I am 22. Single. Female. A college graduate. From a private Church of Christ University (also referred to as a “Marriage Factory”). I am, therefore, somewhat of a rarity.

When I came home, the recurring question I kept receiving was “So is there a guy? No? How come?” Then there are the jokes. “Aren’t you supposed to be married with a couple kids by now?” They are all out of love and for giggles, and I take them as so - I truely don't mind!

On my first Sunday back in Houston, my dad was facilitating a Bible Class on marriage to, well, married folks. They allowed me to tag along and I enjoyed it so much, I stole my Dad’s book and did some flipping around.

Here are some concepts I took away from the class, comments that were made and the book*…

• You must find a way to be happy before you find the person you want to journey with. The burden of “making me happy” is way too heavy a load to place upon one person and, thus, an awful reason to get married.

• “Marriage is not meant to be the place where one gets completed as a person. It is meant for complete persons to come together and build a “we” that is bigger and better than either one of the “I’s” involved.” – Compliment, but NOT complete!

• Honesty is the best policy (as we all know) however how, when and why you are telling the truth is even more important.

• Consequently, how you receive this honestly dictates how it is given to you. Therefore be mature, gracious and SELFLESS enough to take responsibility when you are at fault.

• Don’t keep the mindset of keeping score – being together is not about fixing each other or holding grudges, but growing together.

• Enjoy the ride! No one said that it would be easy – but hard does NOT mean misery. It means you will value each other and the relationship that much more.

• Keep the little things, well, little things.

• Try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes – “What would it be like to be married to me?” “What would it be like to argue with me?” etc (Yikes!)

Seems to me that while there is no doubt that these are excellent topics for married couples to be discussing, isn’t the right time to start thinking about these things now (for me)? I mean pre-marital counseling is great, and I’m sure one day I will partake in that, but isn’t it a little late at that point. If I need to be a complete person in order to compliment my spouse (and vic versa), isn’t singlehood the time to work on that? I think we need Pre-dating counseling!

I have prayed for my future spouse for years, yet I have ignorantly been neglecting the part I can do the most about. I need to be praying for God to prepare ME for him.



*Boundaries in Marriage by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

Turbulence Ahead

I spoke before about how I have been busy and getting to bed early and gaining back some of the sleep lost through the late nights of my college life. Well it came back to haunt me. This weekend I spent 30+ hours in a car, got little sleep, had an awesome Father’s day, floated 1,200 ft in the sky and was reminded how proud of a sister I am. Ok hold on. I’ll back up.

Wednesday the 16th at about 6:00pm (most of) the Glenn gang piled in the car to started the 15 or so hour drive to Lakeland, FL where my Dad’s father lives. Cody (my youngest brother) is a pretty stellar baseball player (not that I’m at all biased) and he had an event at Tropicana Field in Tampa, FL. It was perfect timing – Father’s Day weekend with my grandfather + Cody pitching on the big field + any chance to go to Florida = YES!

My learning moment from this stop on my “road trip” happened on Friday. I had set in my head for a while now that I was going parasailing this summer, so when we had some free time I set out with my parents for a boat, a sail and some open water. It didn’t take long until we found Treasure Island in St. Pete; we hopped on a boat and made our way up, up, up. (My Dad and I went up together) I wish I could have safely taken a camera up with me – the view was awesome. There was a storm brewing behind us, sunshine in front of us, the awesome coast line to our right, turtles swimming to our left and birds flying below us! Once you get up high enough, everything is silent – no roar of the boat or city sounds. It was completely peaceful. And everything below was so small!

I didn’t think about it at the time, but reflecting back on the time up in the air, it is amazing how we selfishly convince ourselves how important we are. My current discussion making process consist of trying to figure out where I’m going to be living in about a month when it comes time to move to Dallas, and (seemingly) more important, how I am going to get the money to pay for all this! Monday rolled around, and I’m back in Houston calling and traveling around to banks being denied again and again and again for loans. I don’t qualify as a “Student” and therefore no student loan for me! I don’t “break down” just all the time, but Monday was a break down kind of day for me. I hate those days! The days when you know it’s unreasonable and not helpful in any way to cry, but logic is not efficient at drying tears in days like this. My problems seemed too important and still unfixable.

Now, when it is easier to think with my head versus my emotions, I think back to the city as we looked down from the sky. We could see cars going by, and in each car was someone with their own problems ranging from lame problems (like mine!) to much more sizeable concerns. My problems will not cause the earth to stop rotating – life will continue to go on. And more amazingly, we serve a God who is deeply engaged into each of these problems, great or small.

I think it is important to keep each of these realizations in balance. One, that we are just a small piece of a huge picture, but also that this small piece we make up is hugely important.

Thank God for family, road trips and timely lessons.